Grounded & Rooted in Love
We were created by God with love.
We are living because of His love.
We have the power to love.
As we are a product of God’s love, it is just right that we live; we celebrate and share that love we received.
STRENGTHENING THE INNER MAN
People of today are more focused on strengthening the outer man.
We go to the gym to make our bodies fit and strong, we go to salons and spas to make us look younger, and we visit doctors to be healthy.
We are more concerned on the outside that we forget to strengthen our inner man.
That is why when problems come, we easily surrender. We easily give up.
In a relationship, in marriage, we easily give up and find a replacement.
Divorce and separation are just like changing clothes or gadgets.
Why because we missed the basics.
Where are the gyms for the inner man that hones our character, our faithfulness, our faith, and our love?
Increases in Value
Last Valentine’s day, there was a scarcity of flowers in spite of their price going double. The queue was more and many men were fighting their way to buy flowers for their loved ones.
I remember one time on the same Valentine’s Day, there was a man asking the Saleslady how much was a bouquet of flowers.
The Saleslady replied “100 Dhs”; and the man said, ” Oh it’s very expensive, It’s only fifty on an ordinary day. Anyway, just give me the single rose. How much is that?”
“10 Dhs Kabayan!” says the Sales lady. But the lady suggested “ Kabayan, it’s better you give a bouquet of the lovely flowers so that your girlfriend will say Yes when you propose..But the man said,” No need, she’s already my wife!”
As time flies by, we heard countless stories of marriage is broken. It is because as time passes, we neglect to value the partner that we have.
The value of our partners, our friends, or relatives should not be compared to the price of our gadget which depreciates over time.
Their worth should increase even more like an old whisky fermented for years.
IT’S ONLY HERE ON EARTH
We should give importance to this gift of having a partner because it’s only here on earth.
Have we remembered when a Sadducee asks the Lord about the resurrection? His questions were
19“Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last, of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”
Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the account of the burning bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!” -Matthew 18:19-27
It is therefore that marriage is only here on earth.
If you are single and want to be married, then avail this opportunity because in heaven, your spouse will not be your spouse anymore.
OPEN THE COMMUNICATION
Most of the problems encountered by so many are marriage-related problems.
A man has settled for another one. A nagger wife that makes the man avoid going home.
There was a saying that in the 1st to 2nd year of marriage, the man speaks and the wife listens. In the 3rd to 4th yr of their relationship, the wife speaks and the man listens. But in the 5th yr of their marriage, both couple speaks and the neighbor listens.
One time, the wife brings his husband to the doctor for a check-up and said, “Doc my husband has a serious problem because he speaks every time he is sleeping”.
After the consultation, the Dr called the wife privately and she asked, “is there any problem with my husband?” “There was no problem with your husband. Just allow him to speak when he is awake.”
Relationship over time dwindles because one partner controls the others.
Communication gaps started because partners are occupied with so many things in life.
And because of this, it results in quarrels and misunderstandings between the couple.
Couples quarrel but because they don’t want their children to know about it, they usually treat their partner with SILENT TREATMENT.
They share the same bed at night, they eat at the same table but they pretend to be ok.
One time, couple quarrels and they treat each other a Silent treatment.
To avoid clashes, they don’t talk to each other.
But the problems come when a man needs to wake up early morning the next day but He is dependent on her wife to wake him up…
So he wrote a note saying “I have a flight to catch, wake me up at 5AM”.
The next day, the man was so angry when he noticed that it was already 9AM.
He immediately ran to his wife and angrily said:” I told you to wake me up at 5AM, now I’m late because you did not wake me up”. The woman said, “Hey, before you get angry go back to our room and read your note”. The man went back to their room, pick up the note beside the bed and read the handwriting of his wife “Hey wake up, you have a flight to catch!”
We should not let our pride ruin our relationship. We cannot just be silent and not resolve the conflict.
Because at the end of the day, the couple should resolve their conflict right away. Face the realities and decide to journey together in marriage.
You can’t continue with the silent treatment that other people think that your relationship is ok.
One time a neighbor approached the husband, you know I admire you and your wife because for a long time that we were a neighbor I never heard you arguing or fighting unlike us. What is your secret? Actually, the secret why we were silent is because we are not talking for years now.
Imagine how many wasted years in a relationship, being together but living in stress.
IT’S A JOURNEY
Being together is a journey.
There will be a fight but it’s a part of it.
We need to enjoy the journey of being together. We need to learn how to listen otherwise small conflicts become big.
When no one listens, what happens we ask for marriage councilors. What does the counselor do, counselor says “Mister what the wife says is this and that…the counselor will just repeat and clarify what the couple did not bother to listen to…And the last stage when both parties don’t agree to listen and settle, they will go to court, and the court will try to bring about all your flaws to have ground for separations.
Imagine the time, the resources, and reputation lost which can be resolved when they started to listen to each other at the start.
How much money and time was lost could be used for a Caribbean cruise and a second honeymoon.
The Grace to be Rooted and Grounded
Rooted is an agricultural term. Grounded is a structural term.
Our life is like a field wherein it should be rooted down in love.
Like a farmer who is planting good seeds, we should also plant a good seed of love.
The fruit is in the root
To be able to manifest the fruit of a lasting relationship, we need to be rooted.
You cannot expect a fruit unless there is a root.
The fruit is just a manifestation of what is in the root
You cannot expect a good fruit unless the seed is good.
Anything that springs up comes from the root that springs down.
For a relationship to last, it should be rooted and founded well that no matter how strong the wind of storms, no matter how many trials a couple faces; the couple could be able to last it all even against all odds.
May your love be always rooted and grounded,