Category Archives: Relationship

GIVE MORE THAN WHAT THEY BEG

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GIVE MORE THAN WHAT THEY BEG
Acts 3:1-10

Giving someone will not change the world but it will change someone’s world.

We can’t give to everyone but everyone can give to someone.

This is what we want to achieve the goodness within us ripples until it becomes a miracle.

Is it not a miracle to see everyday people living happy and content because there is abundance and no one is lacking not because everyone is rich as Warren Buffet; but because everyone discovers the joy and principle of sharing?

There is greater joy in giving that God is teaching this to us. The joy the giver have is more than the joy experienced by the recipient.
That the blessings of someone who gives are far greater than the one who receives.

IS IT A RECKLESS DECISION?

We learned that giving is not a reckless decision at all.
Because we understood that it is in giving that the more we received.

There is more joy in giving than in receiving alone.

OUR PRESENCE is our PRESENT

We can give without loving but we cannot truly love without giving.
We cannot consecrate our all by giving our treasures alone.

Because sometimes, God and other people don’t need your money but they need your time.

Sometimes, our time is better than any dime; our presence is the best present we can give to a person.
Our presence cannot be replaced by any material things.

For those OFW with family miles away, we usually equate our presence with our dear ones with material things. We translate our love for them with goods, gadgets, and comfortable life.

But sometimes they don’t need our money, they long for our presence, tangible love.

Good that in this digital era, we can fill the gap of our absence by the use of social sites through FB, Messenger, WhatsApp, Viber, IMO, and skype. Our presence with them becomes virtual.

But no matter how it is, the effort of making ourselves available to them cannot be discounted.

PETER HADE GAVE MORE

In the reading of Acts 3:1-10 12, Peter and John on the third hour of the afternoon for prayer, going up to the temple a man lame from birth begs them for money. Peter looked straight at him and did John, said to the man “Look at us! Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk.
A poor beggar received more than what he expected.
Because Peter and John, have given more than what the man asked.
They had given what they only have, their TIME and Jesus who is in them.

In this part of the talk, we will share how & why you have to give more than what others beg of you:

1. GIVE THEM RELATIONSHIPS NOT OWNERSHIP
If we want to improve our relationship with others, even if it’s our spouse, children, parents, or other people; we need to spend quality time with them.
Because you cannot replace our presence with material things. Sometimes, people don’t need our money.

They need our time and the time we devote to others sends a message that they are important to us.

The time devoted by Peter and John to a beggar on the street helps the man to understand that respect for oneself is more than a small coin he can receive.

The sense of touch and sight was felt by the beggar when he looked at the disciple’s eyes and that feeling flowed when Peter reached out his hand to the man.

This power of touch and sight is missing in a virtual and digital relationship.

I wonder about seeing couples in a cozy restaurant, dining together but they don’t look at each other their eyes were hooked on their own phone.
Leave that gadget behind for a while, start a good talk, look at each other’s eyes, and connect.

This is what the lame beggar felt when he looked at Peter and John. Connection.

Our time spent sending a clear message that you are near and available on time that they need us.

Another act of good deed is by the Good Samaritan. A businessman and a traveler where time is gold; he dared to spare his time to carry the man to his horse and brought him to care in a hotel and paid for it.

2. GIVE THEM OUR GOD NOT YOUR GOLD

We cannot truly consecrate by giving what we really have by giving our treasures alone because it is not enough.

Share to them our God when we give.

Let them know that we are just a channel of God’s goodness; that every blessing we share with them is not from us but the fruit of God’s goodness and generosity to us.

We let them realize that God is alive through us. We become Jesus to someone.

We become a living manifestation that God is real because they can sense, they can feel that He is working through us.

The reason why many desperate people don’t believe that God cares is that they don’t experience that sympathy, that empathy from people who were blessed.

The ultimate purpose of our blessing is that we become a blessing to someone who is in need.
Because all the things that we have, time treasures, and talents all come from Him alone.

Let them realize that what they receive does not come from us, but we are only sharing the blessing that we received from God.

Don’t ask them to repay you, but let them do exactly what you did to the next person with the same experience and situation.

Ask them to do other what you did to them, let that goodness ripple and daily we will see miracles. The goodness they received shall be the same goodness they will share.

Giving our God to them is empowering them to stand in their own faith and relationship with God.
By sharing with them our God, let them discover a wonderful relationship with our Master and let that relationship be intimate and personal with God.

3. GIVE THEM WHAT THEY REALLY NEED

Sometimes our intention to help is good. However, in the long term, we don’t really help but rather let them be lazy, lame, and selfish.

We teach them to be too much dependent on the moment that it paralyzes them and kills us as well.

The problem sometimes with us, we let them paralyze their thinking because every decision should be coming from us. We limit their ability to think for themselves.

Don’t give them the fish but teach them how to fish.

You can empower them by teaching and sharing with them what you know and how they could be able to maximize their time and resources.

Give to our children what they only need. Don’t just give our children the taste of our wealth but teach them what made us wealthy. Don’t just give them your riches, show them how you did it. Teach them your passion, your vision, your mission, exemplary character, and your outlooks in life so that they could have their own.

I think it’s not right that we only give food to beggars to eat, it is hard work but we need to transform them to be a better part of our society. They need to regain their identity and integrity so that they could somehow be contributors to the common good of the community.

We should give them a chance instead of giving them a label that reminds them of their inability to be part of the community.

4. GIVE THEM MOTIVATION AND NOT DISSUASION

Some of us offer our help but we use it as a reason to judge people on their inabilities, weakness, and limitations.

They don’t need our judgment. They need our motivation and inspire them to rise above their situation.

We should not use our giving to let others look stupid and miserable or to use them for our own propaganda of being self-righteous.

5. GIVE THEM LOVE NOT PITY

What people need from us is not our pity but our love.

We can only strengthen their belief in themselves if we show them our trust and belief that they can do it by themselves.

The more we pity them, the more we let them stay in their miserable conditions.

You give not because you expect to receive but because you love.

Like the Good Samaritan, what he had given is the best out of his love and kindness without expecting any form of return.

Some people make friends because they have a vested interest in you.

Do we want to partake in a Mission of God to mankind by giving our time, treasure, and talents?

Do we want to have that happy and fruitful relationship?

Do we want to experience deeper peace of mind with God?

It is not that we are giving our time to God and man but actually, we are seizing that time we spent in our favor to experience His immense and glorious presence.

GOD’S EYE ON THE GIVER

Our giving cannot be hidden from the eyes of God. He is observant.
Every second, every time, every giving that we are doing is known to the Lord.

That is why we give our time and talent with joy.
He knows how much we give and the more, He knows how we value every act of giving we are doing.

May you always become Jesus to somebody,

Mikesendon

OFFLOADING ALL EXCESS BAGGAGES

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Offloading All Your Excess Baggage

Jonah 1:1-17

Excess Baggage

There are so many things we heard about following our dreams and pursuing to reach our destiny.

To traverse every difficult path no matter what and with much perseverance, we will be able to reach the end of the trail.

We are excited to talk about getting to our destination.

But there are a lot of people who don’t enjoy their journey because they carry with them so much excess baggage in life that they don’t actually need.

Are we ready to let go of every excess luggage that we have?

Even if we set to reach our goals unless we throw out that excess baggage, we will not enjoy our journey because we carry the burden of things that are beyond
our ability to bear.

At the Airport

One of the typical scenes at the airport is people packing their luggage, trying to squeeze everything with all their might just to salvage something.

Just imagine how pressure and stressful it is when you’re catching a flight to your destination but the staff would not allow you until you pay the price.

The price is expensive and we need to choose.

To keep it or throw it.

It’s a decision to make. To be at the desired destination or be stuck at the airport.

The Story of Jonah

There was a prophet named Jonah who boards a ship at Koppa going to Tarshish. But on their journey, they encountered a strong storm that almost destroyed the boat. They prayed but the storm seemed don’t want to stop. They already have thrown out every cargo they could throw off but the ship is still sinking. So they decided to cast a lot and Jonah was picked.

Jonah told them his story and in short, they threw him away from the boat and the storm stopped.

Maybe today you’re encountering the same storm in your life. You have prayed a lot and tried to solve everything that you can but it seems it never stops.

The reason why it destroys us is that we keep with us the excess baggage.

Every excess baggage we have can sink the boat.

Every excess baggage in our life can destroy us and stop us from reaching our destination.

The crew tried to row the boats instead of throwing Jonah from the ship but it never stopped the storm.

Sometimes, even when we know what are those things that stopped us from our destiny, we try to manage it but the situation becomes worse.

Even if you have thrown everything unless you have not to get rid of what is destroying, it will not save the boat.

Even how mighty the ship can be if it carries beyond what it can carry, it will sink.

We need to point out what is that excess baggage in our life that makes us sinkable.

Any disobedience to God is an excess weight that we carry and it takes from us His grace and protection.

It’s the responsibility of the captain to check the capacity of the boat and how much wt it carries before leaving the boat.

Because any excess is dangerous.

It’s the usual reason for so many tragedies that happened in the past…carrying more passengers than it’s allowed to carry.

Our EXCESS BAGGAGE

What is that excess baggage we have?

All our negative thoughts and negative minds are excess baggage that we need to throw out to the sea.

It does not only destroy us but it prevents us from reaching the other side of our destiny, our goals, and our eternity.

Every anger, hatred, and sin that are in us drags us down to the bottom.

Its weight is so heavy that it slowly sinks us to a deeper depth.

We cannot journey with joy and peace of mind as long as we carry the weight of it.

LIFE DESIGN

Anything that is in excess is not good.

We are designed by God but we have our own weaknesses and limitations.

Yes, we are designed by God to be stronger, to be mighty people, to be an overcomer but with condition that we don’t entertain anything that will destroy us.

Even Superman, he was strong but he has his match.

We are not designed to keep with us anything that is not according to his purpose and design. Otherwise, it will certainly destroy us.

God commands us to think about what is good, noble, pure, righteous, anything that is praiseworthy and excellent.

Any negative thoughts that we entertain are a hole that will sink our boats.

Every feeling of un-contentment steals from us the joy and experience of having more than enough.

Every feeling of ungratefulness takes the opportunity to receive more.

Every inch of doubt destroys our faith and robs us of the opportunity to witness and experience the amazing power of God to transform the impossible into the possible.

Every hatred that we keep, suppress the sparks of love in our heart.

Every weight of sin keeps us further away from God’s promise of eternity.

ANYTHING EXCESS

In the natural, everything made by God is good and enough according to its purpose.

When he saved Noah and his family, He asked of him the only pair of animals and not more.

Why because everything that is in excess is not good.

The same principle in Engineering design, every foundation and member is being designed according to its capacity and the load it can carry.

To arrive at a sound and safe design, the designer will compute how many loads a member could carry according to its capacity otherwise, it would look for alternative materials to carry it or provide additional support.

Every member has their own stress to carry.

If the stress it receives is more than it could carry, it will produce cracks. Stress over time can cause members to buckle and eventually destroys it.

If this is true with Engineering, it’s true with our spirituality.

You cannot carry stress more than you could carry.

You either get rid of the excess stress or find support to carry it for you; otherwise, this will torment you and will not help you over time.

But why carry so many unnecessary stresses in our life if we know that we could live without them?

Sometimes we try to carry it with our own strength but carrying it over time with our own strength becomes heavier.
DELETE AND UNINSTALL

Have you noticed that even our computers become so slow and don’t function exactly as per their design when their stores are full and with apps that are not required?

What we do. There is a button called DELETE.

Anything that we don’t need, we should delete.

It eats up your time, it eats up your space, and it eats up the opportunity for other good things that you can download.

In life, we need to delete anything unnecessary but we have to decide.

We need to delete the relationship that makes us unhappy.

Delete the job that doesn’t give you real joy and happiness.

Delete all the vices that ruin your money and health.

They are just excess baggage that eats your space/ time and resources.

You need to have the courage to push that delete button.
DELETE BUT TRASH

It takes courage to offload old friends if you know they take out from you the opportunity to grow.

If you have an extra relationship that could destroy your family, delete it.

In a computer, even when we delete it, there is still space allotted to keep the deleted items; yet it still occupies storage space.

Isn’t it true that many of us even though we already deleted many excess areas in our life, still keep space and room to store them to a point that we install them again when we decided to?

We cannot let it go.

To truly experience freedom, put it into trash and junk so that you have completely gotten rid of them.

ARE YOU THE EXCESS BAGGAGE?

We talk so much about extra luggage, but are we like Jonah whose excess baggage?

Sometimes we are the excess baggage to others. Instead of being blessings, we became the source of their agony, their sadness.

Maybe we are the reason that they commit sin.

Jesus said it is better for a man who makes other sins to be tied up with a grinding stone and be thrown out into the sea.

GIVE IT ALL TO HIM

Mt 11:28
Come to me all of you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest

1 Peter 5:7
Cast to Him all your anxiety for He cares for you.

Our sin is too much for us to bear, God carries the cross for us and bears the pain even to death for us.

God trims and takes out from us every single impurity in us to perfect us…

May you dare to throw all your excess baggage and let your happiness be full,

Mikesendon

GROUNDED AND ROOTED IN LOVE

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Grounded & Rooted in Love

Ephesians 3:16-19

We were created by God with love.

We are living because of His love.

We have the power to love.

As we are a product of God’s love, it is just right that we live; we celebrate and share that love we received.

STRENGTHENING THE INNER MAN

People of today are more focused on strengthening the outer man.

We go to the gym to make our bodies fit and strong, we go to salons and spas to make us look younger, and we visit doctors to be healthy.

We are more concerned on the outside that we forget to strengthen our inner man.

That is why when problems come, we easily surrender. We easily give up.

In a relationship, in marriage, we easily give up and find a replacement.

Divorce and separation are just like changing clothes or gadgets.

Why because we missed the basics.

Where are the gyms for the inner man that hones our character, our faithfulness, our faith, and our love?

Increases in Value

Last Valentine’s day, there was a scarcity of flowers in spite of their price going double. The queue was more and many men were fighting their way to buy flowers for their loved ones.

I remember one time on the same Valentine’s Day, there was a man asking the Saleslady how much was a bouquet of flowers.

The Saleslady replied “100 Dhs”; and the man said, ” Oh it’s very expensive, It’s only fifty on an ordinary day. Anyway, just give me the single rose. How much is that?”

“10 Dhs Kabayan!” says the Sales lady. But the lady suggested “ Kabayan, it’s better you give a bouquet of the lovely flowers so that your girlfriend will say Yes when you propose..But the man said,” No need, she’s already my wife!”

As time flies by, we heard countless stories of marriage is broken. It is because as time passes, we neglect to value the partner that we have.

The value of our partners, our friends, or relatives should not be compared to the price of our gadget which depreciates over time.

Their worth should increase even more like an old whisky fermented for years.

IT’S ONLY HERE ON EARTH

We should give importance to this gift of having a partner because it’s only here on earth.

Have we remembered when a Sadducee asks the Lord about the resurrection? His questions were

19“Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last, of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”

Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the account of the burning bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!” -Matthew 18:19-27

It is therefore that marriage is only here on earth.

If you are single and want to be married, then avail this opportunity because in heaven, your spouse will not be your spouse anymore.

OPEN THE COMMUNICATION

Most of the problems encountered by so many are marriage-related problems.

A man has settled for another one. A nagger wife that makes the man avoid going home.

There was a saying that in the 1st to 2nd year of marriage, the man speaks and the wife listens. In the 3rd to 4th yr of their relationship, the wife speaks and the man listens. But in the 5th yr of their marriage, both couple speaks and the neighbor listens.

One time, the wife brings his husband to the doctor for a check-up and said, “Doc my husband has a serious problem because he speaks every time he is sleeping”.

After the consultation, the Dr called the wife privately and she asked, “is there any problem with my husband?” “There was no problem with your husband. Just allow him to speak when he is awake.”

Relationship over time dwindles because one partner controls the others.

Communication gaps started because partners are occupied with so many things in life.

And because of this, it results in quarrels and misunderstandings between the couple.

Couples quarrel but because they don’t want their children to know about it, they usually treat their partner with SILENT TREATMENT.

They share the same bed at night, they eat at the same table but they pretend to be ok.

SILENT TREATMENT

One time, couple quarrels and they treat each other a Silent treatment.

To avoid clashes, they don’t talk to each other.

But the problems come when a man needs to wake up early morning the next day but He is dependent on her wife to wake him up…

So he wrote a note saying “I have a flight to catch, wake me up at 5AM”.

The next day, the man was so angry when he noticed that it was already 9AM.

He immediately ran to his wife and angrily said:” I told you to wake me up at 5AM, now I’m late because you did not wake me up”. The woman said, “Hey, before you get angry go back to our room and read your note”. The man went back to their room, pick up the note beside the bed and read the handwriting of his wife “Hey wake up, you have a flight to catch!”

We should not let our pride ruin our relationship. We cannot just be silent and not resolve the conflict.

Because at the end of the day, the couple should resolve their conflict right away. Face the realities and decide to journey together in marriage.

You can’t continue with the silent treatment that other people think that your relationship is ok.

One time a neighbor approached the husband, you know I admire you and your wife because for a long time that we were a neighbor I never heard you arguing or fighting unlike us. What is your secret? Actually, the secret why we were silent is because we are not talking for years now.

Imagine how many wasted years in a relationship, being together but living in stress.

IT’S A JOURNEY

Being together is a journey.

There will be a fight but it’s a part of it.

We need to enjoy the journey of being together. We need to learn how to listen otherwise small conflicts become big.

When no one listens, what happens we ask for marriage councilors. What does the counselor do, counselor says “Mister what the wife says is this and that…the counselor will just repeat and clarify what the couple did not bother to listen to…And the last stage when both parties don’t agree to listen and settle, they will go to court, and the court will try to bring about all your flaws to have ground for separations.

Imagine the time, the resources, and reputation lost which can be resolved when they started to listen to each other at the start.

How much money and time was lost could be used for a Caribbean cruise and a second honeymoon.

The Grace to be Rooted and Grounded

Rooted is an agricultural term. Grounded is a structural term.

Our life is like a field wherein it should be rooted down in love.

Like a farmer who is planting good seeds, we should also plant a good seed of love.

The fruit is in the root

To be able to manifest the fruit of a lasting relationship, we need to be rooted.

You cannot expect a fruit unless there is a root.

The fruit is just a manifestation of what is in the root

You cannot expect a good fruit unless the seed is good.

Anything that springs up comes from the root that springs down.

For a relationship to last, it should be rooted and founded well that no matter how strong the wind of storms, no matter how many trials a couple faces; the couple could be able to last it all even against all odds.

May your love be always rooted and grounded,

Mikesendon

Think about it…

We put more value on ownership rather than our relationships….

We laid more weights on the world rather than on God’s words..

We pay more attentions on the things that are just trivial rather than what is essential….

We fight for our own rights but neglected others need and their plight..

We defend and stand with our pride but fail to understand the feeling of the other side..

We desire to make life more easy and simple yet the more it becomes complex..

The more we settle with our selfish ambitions, the more we are stuck to our own destruction..

Then ask ourselves….what are those things that we regret today because we choose to exchange it with something less?

Things we traded in exchange of our honor and dignity…

What Seeds You are Growing in your Relationship?

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What Seeds You are Growing?

Many things that we have or who we are, are the product of what we did and what we continue doing till now.

Our character and our attitudes are the results of our habits developed over time.

The Principle of Harvest

What we reap today is what we have planted years back.

What we are planting right now, is what we will harvest in the future.

Don’t expect to grow a mango by planting an avocado.

This is a universal law.

If we are planting today seeds of hatred, resentment, and un-forgiveness; then what do we expect to harvest?

If we plant hatred, we reap hatred. If we plant love, we will reap love.

Planting seeds for Good Relationship

If we are not planting a seed of a good relationship with our family, with our kids, with our relatives, with our friends, what do we expect? A successful family relationship needs time to be invested.

Women delight that their partners and their husband remember the day of their anniversary, their birthday, and every special occasion. Hugs, Kisses, and saying “I love you” need not be reserved only on special occasions. It should be often. It should be daily.

For some, it will be corny. But believe me, doing it regularly is a seed that strengthens the bond, love, and relationship of both partners.

There is always resistance at first. Yes, we will feel awkward at the start. But the more we do it, the more we love it. It does not become a routine, but it becomes a habit.

I remember when I was courting my ex-girlfriend (now my wife); there was not a day without sending her simple text messages. “How are you?”, “Have you taken your lunch?” Take care…..

Time Changes, we change

One time, it was Valentine’s day; I was waiting in my queue to buy flowers for Jonna.

Before I was a man in a bargain with the Saleslady. The man said, “how much is this bouquet of roses?” “It’s 100 dirham sir” replied the Saleslady. “It’s very expensive,” he said, “Give me the 20 dirhams only” he added. The Saleslady suggested “Kabayan, kunin nyo na yung bouquet at sigurado sasagutin kayo ng nililigawan nyo” (take the bouquet and for sure, the lady you are courting will give her “YES” to you). The man just replied “No problem, she’s already my wife.

I admit time changes.

There were times I forgot our anniversaries.

I am not the same guy who texts her daily.

Decision to Change

But we can still change the course if we decided to a different path and amend whatever shortcomings we have done.

When we realize that we are heading in the wrong direction and it is hurting our relationship, we have to make an immediate and absolute stop and do the right things.

Whatever good thing you planted earlier should be nurtured and allowed to continue to grow.

Whatever bad things that we planted could be replaced with a sincere and genuine action where we can show how sorry we are for the damage done in our relationship.

I decided to change. I commit to being more caring and responsible than I used to be.

I make ways to remember and celebrate our special occasions. I’m investing ample quality time with my family.

Handle with Care

A relationship is very fragile. Like glass, it is easy to throw it and let it be broken. But putting it back again to its old form will be really difficult.

A broken relationship heals but it takes time. There will always be scars left.

The usual problem in a restored relationship is trust issues. People forgive the partners to restart anew but don’t expect that it will be a smooth transition.

It takes time before trust returns.

Relationships should be handled with care.

The seeds to grow in a relationship

A good farmer doesn’t just plant seeds.

He carefully chooses the right kind and variety of seeds he wants to grow.

He cleans and tills the land before planting it on the ground. He waits patiently till its first leaves sprout. He watered it. He prunes it and protects it from animals and from humans.

He’s happy to see its flower grows until that flower falls and turns into fruits.

When we want to grow in relationships, like farmers we choose the right kind of seeds; our words, our actions, behaviors, attitudes, responses, and the emotions we are planting.

Farmers grow different seeds in different soil. In relationships, we adapt and adjust depending on the situation. We should know well our partners and learn to mutually adjust to living together in harmony.

We wait patiently. We don’t insist as results don’t happen over time. Especially for the new couple, there is always a period of knowing each other more.

We water it daily. We nurture our relationship with kind words, trust, understanding, love, care,, and appreciation.

We prune it. Pruning is a painful process. There were times come when we commit mistakes and do wrong. It’s hard to admit our mistakes. It’s difficult to ask forgiveness and it’s hard to forgive as well, but it’s part of the process.

The relationship is tested with trials and difficulties and it’s part of pruning.

But like plants, the more we prune the more it grows healthy.

The more it bears many fruits.