Tag Archives: Relationship

GIVE MORE THAN WHAT THEY BEG

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GIVE MORE THAN WHAT THEY BEG
Acts 3:1-10

Giving someone will not change the world but it will change someone’s world.

We can’t give to everyone but everyone can give to someone.

This is what we want to achieve the goodness within us ripples until it becomes a miracle.

Is it not a miracle to see everyday people living happy and content because there is abundance and no one is lacking not because everyone is rich as Warren Buffet; but because everyone discovers the joy and principle of sharing?

There is greater joy in giving that God is teaching this to us. The joy the giver have is more than the joy experienced by the recipient.
That the blessings of someone who gives are far greater than the one who receives.

IS IT A RECKLESS DECISION?

We learned that giving is not a reckless decision at all.
Because we understood that it is in giving that the more we received.

There is more joy in giving than in receiving alone.

OUR PRESENCE is our PRESENT

We can give without loving but we cannot truly love without giving.
We cannot consecrate our all by giving our treasures alone.

Because sometimes, God and other people don’t need your money but they need your time.

Sometimes, our time is better than any dime; our presence is the best present we can give to a person.
Our presence cannot be replaced by any material things.

For those OFW with family miles away, we usually equate our presence with our dear ones with material things. We translate our love for them with goods, gadgets, and comfortable life.

But sometimes they don’t need our money, they long for our presence, tangible love.

Good that in this digital era, we can fill the gap of our absence by the use of social sites through FB, Messenger, WhatsApp, Viber, IMO, and skype. Our presence with them becomes virtual.

But no matter how it is, the effort of making ourselves available to them cannot be discounted.

PETER HADE GAVE MORE

In the reading of Acts 3:1-10 12, Peter and John on the third hour of the afternoon for prayer, going up to the temple a man lame from birth begs them for money. Peter looked straight at him and did John, said to the man “Look at us! Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk.
A poor beggar received more than what he expected.
Because Peter and John, have given more than what the man asked.
They had given what they only have, their TIME and Jesus who is in them.

In this part of the talk, we will share how & why you have to give more than what others beg of you:

1. GIVE THEM RELATIONSHIPS NOT OWNERSHIP
If we want to improve our relationship with others, even if it’s our spouse, children, parents, or other people; we need to spend quality time with them.
Because you cannot replace our presence with material things. Sometimes, people don’t need our money.

They need our time and the time we devote to others sends a message that they are important to us.

The time devoted by Peter and John to a beggar on the street helps the man to understand that respect for oneself is more than a small coin he can receive.

The sense of touch and sight was felt by the beggar when he looked at the disciple’s eyes and that feeling flowed when Peter reached out his hand to the man.

This power of touch and sight is missing in a virtual and digital relationship.

I wonder about seeing couples in a cozy restaurant, dining together but they don’t look at each other their eyes were hooked on their own phone.
Leave that gadget behind for a while, start a good talk, look at each other’s eyes, and connect.

This is what the lame beggar felt when he looked at Peter and John. Connection.

Our time spent sending a clear message that you are near and available on time that they need us.

Another act of good deed is by the Good Samaritan. A businessman and a traveler where time is gold; he dared to spare his time to carry the man to his horse and brought him to care in a hotel and paid for it.

2. GIVE THEM OUR GOD NOT YOUR GOLD

We cannot truly consecrate by giving what we really have by giving our treasures alone because it is not enough.

Share to them our God when we give.

Let them know that we are just a channel of God’s goodness; that every blessing we share with them is not from us but the fruit of God’s goodness and generosity to us.

We let them realize that God is alive through us. We become Jesus to someone.

We become a living manifestation that God is real because they can sense, they can feel that He is working through us.

The reason why many desperate people don’t believe that God cares is that they don’t experience that sympathy, that empathy from people who were blessed.

The ultimate purpose of our blessing is that we become a blessing to someone who is in need.
Because all the things that we have, time treasures, and talents all come from Him alone.

Let them realize that what they receive does not come from us, but we are only sharing the blessing that we received from God.

Don’t ask them to repay you, but let them do exactly what you did to the next person with the same experience and situation.

Ask them to do other what you did to them, let that goodness ripple and daily we will see miracles. The goodness they received shall be the same goodness they will share.

Giving our God to them is empowering them to stand in their own faith and relationship with God.
By sharing with them our God, let them discover a wonderful relationship with our Master and let that relationship be intimate and personal with God.

3. GIVE THEM WHAT THEY REALLY NEED

Sometimes our intention to help is good. However, in the long term, we don’t really help but rather let them be lazy, lame, and selfish.

We teach them to be too much dependent on the moment that it paralyzes them and kills us as well.

The problem sometimes with us, we let them paralyze their thinking because every decision should be coming from us. We limit their ability to think for themselves.

Don’t give them the fish but teach them how to fish.

You can empower them by teaching and sharing with them what you know and how they could be able to maximize their time and resources.

Give to our children what they only need. Don’t just give our children the taste of our wealth but teach them what made us wealthy. Don’t just give them your riches, show them how you did it. Teach them your passion, your vision, your mission, exemplary character, and your outlooks in life so that they could have their own.

I think it’s not right that we only give food to beggars to eat, it is hard work but we need to transform them to be a better part of our society. They need to regain their identity and integrity so that they could somehow be contributors to the common good of the community.

We should give them a chance instead of giving them a label that reminds them of their inability to be part of the community.

4. GIVE THEM MOTIVATION AND NOT DISSUASION

Some of us offer our help but we use it as a reason to judge people on their inabilities, weakness, and limitations.  

They don’t need our judgment. They need our motivation and inspire them to rise above their situation.

We should not use our giving to let others look stupid and miserable or to use them for our own propaganda of being self-righteous.

5. GIVE THEM LOVE NOT PITY

What people need from us is not our pity but our love.

We can only strengthen their belief in themselves if we show them our trust and belief that they can do it by themselves.

The more we pity them, the more we let them stay in their miserable conditions.

You give not because you expect to receive but because you love.

Like the Good Samaritan, what he had given is the best out of his love and kindness without expecting any form of return.

Some people make friends because they have a vested interest in you.

Do we want to partake in a Mission of God to mankind by giving our time, treasure, and talents?

Do we want to have that happy and fruitful relationship?

Do we want to experience deeper peace of mind with God?

It is not that we are giving our time to God and man but actually, we are seizing that time we spent in our favor to experience His immense and glorious presence.

GOD’S EYE ON THE GIVER

Our giving cannot be hidden from the eyes of God. He is observant.
Every second, every time, every giving that we are doing is known to the Lord.

That is why we give our time and talent with joy.
He knows how much we give and the more, He knows how we value every act of giving we are doing.

May you always become Jesus to somebody,

Mikesendon

RECEIVE THE SEEDS OF POSSIBILITIES

RECEIVE THE SEEDS OF POSSIBILITIES

Mark 4:4-12

 Seeds of Possibilities

 Anything alive grows and anything that grows multiplies.

Are we growing something in our life that we want to multiply and harvest?

But sometimes, many of us are growing and nourishing so many things that are supposed to be buried.

We grow our pride and ego, some grow hatred and indifference, and we nourish our weaknesses rather than our strength. We grow our debts rather than wealth.

What are those areas in your life that you want to grow?

Because understanding the importance of good seeds planted in good ground and how God makes them mature, will allow us to harvest fruits in hundred folds.

Let us understand today one of God’s principles of how to claim His blessing of abundance.

Every seed has a destiny. Every seed has possibilities.

Our topic is how to receive the Seeds of Possibilities.

THE BLESSING IS IN THE SEED

 God hides his blessing in the seed form.

He allows his blessings concealed in the form of seed so that he will know that our motives are pure and true.

He allows it to sprout its roots inside of you, let it become part of your system until this becomes alive in you.

Because many people will try to snatch it from us.

There are a lot of people who recognize you because you have the fruits. There are a lot of people who not will respect and recognizes us while we don’t have yet the roots.

The blessing is in the seeds so that when we value it on its small humble beginning, God knows that we could be trusted even when we are given full-blown blessings.

THE SEEDS HAVE A DESTINY

People don’t realize that there is always destiny in every seed.

We cannot belittle the seeds that are being planted in us.

What the seeds could be is beyond what you imagine they will be because God had already given them with destiny.

God wants us to see the grape seed, not in its seed form but look at it as a grape vineyard, an apple seed to be an apple orchard.

Is it unusual that God planted the seeds of greatness in us but He will not show you the in-between?

The blessings for Joseph were in a seed form when God showed him in a dream that he will be a ruler and yet God never disclosed that the seeds of greatness in him shall be developed, nourished, and grown in the process he least expected.

If we have the seeds of destiny planted in us, God can bless us even if we are inside the pit of our circumstances, even at the bottom of hardships, and even inside the prison of our uncertainties.

If God blesses us inside the prison, God can bless us in the palace. Because we have planted with the seeds of possibilities hidden in a seed form.

Is it not amazing to stand in awe looking at a big tree when you know and witness how small it really started?

THE SEED HAS TO BE TESTED

It is not enough that seed has to be planted, the seed has to be watered.

Water is a trauma to the seeds.

Because water makes its seed vulnerable, it exposes it to peeling its old skin.

Watering slowly kills the seed in its form so that it re-births to a new life form, better and bigger than it was before.

Watering makes you restless because the energy it produces in the seeds moves you to become what God wants you to be.

The Word of God that is watering that seed planted in us will not allow us to be contented until something happens in our life.

Just like Prophet Elisha, when he was watered by Prophet Elijah, he was inspired to take the path his master was doing. He left his farming, kill the oxen, and cooked with the yoke he used for plowing. Because he was watered.

The seeds that were planted in him became alive and it took roots that moves him to be the successor of His teacher Elijah.

BLAME IT ON THE SEED?

But the question is how we can receive that seed of possibilities in our life?

It is not that the seed is not good why does it never flourish it also depends on what type of soil it was sown.

We don’t blame the failure on the seed because its possibility also determined which soil it landed on.

We cannot blame that the Word of God is not effective, that it has no power; nor is the speaker not anointed. Are we a good ground for the seed to grow?

Therefore, if we want every good seed to grow in our life, we have to ask ourselves, what type of soil we are.

  1. THE PASSIVE SOIL

   Mk 4:4 “the seeds fell beside the road and the bird came and ate it up.”

It’s good to have a passive income but not to have a passive heart.

The seeds were snatched out and eaten up.

Passive means we allow it to pass and come but we don’t have any response or any action at all.

A passive heart and mind will not even give chance to the seed to sprout because we don’t want to give a chance for His Words to work in us.

We refuse to be planted with something good because we immediately close our life for a new opportunity to bloom.

Our mind is not open to new possibilities, a new trend, new technology, and new ways because we wanted to stay where we were.

Our reservations and hesitations, our disbelief will not give us any chance so that the power of His Words come to life and have its effect on us.

Are we this type of soil that there a lot of opportunity passes because we never have the time to entertain them?

Any person with a passive attitude misses the chance to grow and receive the blessings that the seed brings.

Because they don’t see that the seed has the possibilities.

  1. THE SUPERFICIAL SOIL

Mk 4:5 “Other seed fell on the rocky ground where it did not have much soil and it immediately sprung up because it had no depth of soil”.

Again, this does not mean that the seed is not good but the receiver has not had enough capacity to accept the seeds he received.

These are the type of people who are shallow in the sense that they can see only what is in front of them.

They cannot see the whole picture or the possibilities and what good the seed has to bring because they focus only on the tip of the iceberg.

The good thing, they give the chance for the Words to take root but since they don’t have depth, they never flourish.

They received the Word of God with joy but when trials come they waver in their faith. Not enough roots.

These are the type of people who attend the fellowship to ask for blessings but never come back when prayer was not granted.

In a relationship, they only consider that the other woman is more “malambing” or caring but they don’t realize that the real wife has more concerns to make the family one.

People who give more focus on instant gratification will never be wealthy because they are superficial. Their psychological wallet is small and they don’t have the depth and capacity to handle money.

There is a saying that “never give up your investments’ because when you are old, they will be your blessings to feed you. But so many exchanges the chance of having it because they desire the luxury of granting their “moment gratifications”.

Many OFW doesn’t see the blessings on the seed form because they put it in a balikbayan box or plant it somewhere where it takes no roots.

I like people who have roots because their faith will eventually make them rooted in times of storms and difficulties.

  1. COVETOUS SOIL

They hear the Word, accept it but the worries of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and desire for other things enter in and choke the Word and it becomes unfruitful

These are the type of people whose desire for riches overcomes their desires for God.

Their worries are greater than their faith.

Anxieties of this world choke them that their mind cannot focus on what the Word of God brings.

To be rich and wealthy is not bad because I believe that God wants us to be rich and wealthy. Our God shall supply our needs according to His riches in glory and He is our God more than enough.

To be blessed is good as long as we know that we are just a channel where it should flows. But when we close the pipe and divert it only for our own good, then the blessings will eventually stop.

With the deceitfulness of riches and desires for other things once entered into our system, we will be unfruitful.

Deceitfulness and lust are brothers of destruction.

A deceitful person can always play and maneuver a lustful person, and a lustful person always looks up to someone who can deceive him.

We cannot deceive a person about things who don’t have the lust for it.

A lustful person will always be deceived by the riches of this world because riches always offer it cannot deliver.

The riches of this world offer you happiness, peace, and comfort but I find more people on the streets sleep well than those who sleep in a costly hotel.

People with suicidal tendencies are mostly celebrities who are wealthy because they cannot stand the pressures and stress of life. They became unfruitful.

  1. THE GOOD SOIL

A good seed will always flourish when planted in good ground.

Its fruits are thirty, some are sixty and others are hundred-folds.

When the Word of God is planted on a person with a good heart, that person shines. That person blooms and becomes a blessing to so many.

God is looking for people who have a good attitude toward life. These are people who inspire others.

They are like a lamp placed on a lampstand whose light affects those who are in darkness, confused, and lost.

A good man blessed with wealth becomes a channel of blessings to others. Money in the hand of a wicked man becomes wicked but becomes a blessing when it’s received by a good man.

God will always look at what is your motive and He wanted to bless the seed to those He knows have the capacity and depth to handle it.

What are riches and wealth if after it has been given to you, you don’t attend church on Sunday anymore because you have to play golf? Or you miss fellowship because you are busy waxing your car.

You have too much riches but you don’t have time anymore for your kids and your spouse.

The seeds flourish in a good environment so that they could yield more fruits and do their purpose.

Good soil has its own capacities. To compare as St Paul is not wise to do so.

In so doing, never be jealous or envious of people who have a hundred folds if you are the thirty seeds types of soil because they have more capacity than you.

If you can be trusted with Thirty, God will increase it eventually. But people who cannot bear the fruits they have, it will be taken out from them and added to those who have the hundreds.

May you be a good soil worthy to receive the seed of possibilities that God gives.

Mikesendon

 

WHEN WE COME TO OUR SENSES

WHEN WE COME TO OUR SENSES

Luke 15:17-24

 Senses

It is odd to think to exchange something valuable for something that never lasts.

How many times do we neglect to value what is important in the exchange for what is really essential?

We follow our desires; we chase our dreams only to realize that they are just fleeting things.

It seems odd to understand that we forget our first love because we found someone that we thought they are better than the latter.

 Regret is always at the last. We will only realize what is really important when we come to our senses.

The Fate of a Prodigal Son

It’s one of the renowned Jesus parables of a younger son who asked his father for a share of his estate. So the good father decided to divide his wealth between them and not many days later, the younger son gathered everything and started his journey away home. He squandered his shares with extravagant living.

Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country and he began to be penniless; he started to work as a helper feeding the swine. But the income he had is not enough that he even shared with the pods that the swine were eating.

But he came to his senses and said, “How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger.

What We Exchange

We can relate to the story because, in so many instances, we tend to exchange something better for temporary things.

We put more value on ownership rather than relationships.

We laid more weights on the worlds rather than in His Words.

We pay more attention to the things that are just trivial rather than what is essential.

We fight for our own rights but neglect other’s need and their plight.

We defend and stand with our pride but fail to understand the feeling of the other side.

The son chooses his freedom to do what he desired to do with his life and spent the rest of his life with people whom he thought would help him.

Is it funny to realize that we more we desire to be free but yet the more we trap in the rat race?

The more we desire to make life easy and simple, the more it becomes complex.

The more we settle with our selfish ambitions, this always leads to our own destruction.

What are those things that we regret today because we choose to exchange them for something less?

Choose what is best

Is it not wise for a man to exchange something better for a lower value?

Will we exchange our dollar for a peso less than its current rate?

This is what happens when we choose to serve only ourselves rather than choosing to serve others.

Anything we do for just personal interest will not bear fruit and serve its best.

We cannot live in immorality but when someone speaks the truth, we feel not guilty; yet we tell that person that he should understand our personality.

The younger son already living the best in the presence of his father. They have slaves and everything.

He was living in abundance yet he still desires to live free away from his father, thinking that by being away he could have better control of himself and can be able to do exactly what he wants.

Little do we realize, that we tend to live away from the presence of God thinking we could do better and do exactly what we desire to do.

But the more that we distance ourselves from His loving presence, the more we detached ourselves from the provisions and move away from the shadow of God’s protection.

Psalm 91 is an assurance for those who choose to dwell in the shelter of our God Most High.

Away from Him, we can do nothing. If we decide to live apart from Him is like a branch detached from its vine. The blessings stop and the branch dried up.

The son began to be impoverished so he decided to hire himself out as a helper of the swine.

Walking away from the grace of God will slowly make us poor not only materially but the worst is in our spirituality.

The more we deprived ourselves of the presence of God, our spirit and our soul becomes dry.

Even we work things out; the material needs and people that surround us are not enough to fill the vacuum that was left empty because it longs for the presence of our loving Father.

Choose our God and we choose the better part.

When we come to our senses

Our situations and the conditions we are in might be horrible is not a punishment but a mere consequence if we walk away from the Father.

But the consequence should be the jolting point for us to realize that we have gone far.

It’s a bumper for us to be an awakening point from our sleep and be aware that our conditions are not permanent.

We have to come to our senses.

This is what happened to the younger son. He became aware that his suffering was not a punishment but a turning point to return back to where he really belongs.

That his afflictions were not borne but the consequence of his unwise actions.

We are not born with suffering, but most of it was the result of our foolish actions and decisions.

When we come to our senses, we will realize what more relevant things are.

It will bring us to an awareness of who we really are, and how God values us more than any other.

If we come to our senses, it will lead us to come back to the presence of God who never stops waiting for us for our return.

Second chance

God is giving us second chance, a third chance…

He allows us to stand up and walk past where we fell.

Never be so stuck in our sin thinking that we cannot rise again.

Never thought that we cannot correct our mistakes.

When we come to our senses, think that God is giving us another chance.

God’s arm is wide enough to embrace us again. His mercy is far greater than our sin.

He patiently waits for our return.

Call to Repent

Luke 13:1-9 is another parable where Jesus expounds that we need to repent.

Coming to our senses makes us repent of our sins.

We cannot judge others that they are more sinners because of their fate or their situations because unless we repent, we will all perish.

Unless we come to our senses, we will not mend our ways but will continue to walk to our death.

God wanted to see the fruit in us. Like the fig tree, without finding any fruit after how many years is destined to be cut down.

Better be humble down before God than be cut down in our relationship with God. Before the blessings are cut down and stop it from flowing. Before the sun goes down leaving us un-repented.

Dig around and put Fertilizer

The owner of the fig tree asks a favor from the owner of the vineyard to give him chance to dig in and put fertilizer hoping that the tree will eventually bear many fruits.

Time is given to us each day, a chance to dig deeper into ourselves and check our relationship with others and with our God.

We have to dig deep into our hearts what are those things that truly matter and are essential.

We need to put in fertilizers to eventually grow us more in our relationship with our God.

We need to add more value to our time with people who really matter to us.

God is giving us more time but not on our terms but on God’s terms.

When Jonah preached to the people of Nineveh to repent for their sins,

God has given them 40 days.

They humble themselves and wore sack clothes and sit on ashes to show that they were sorry for their sins.

What are those things that we added to strengthen our relationship with Him?

May we come always to our senses and our life live in its full,

Mikesendon

 Senses

GROUNDED AND ROOTED IN LOVE

Grounded & Rooted in Love

Ephesians 3:16-19

 root

We were created by God with love.

We are living because of His love.

We have the power to love.

As we are a product of God’s love, it is just right that we live; we celebrate and share that love we received.

STRENGTHENING THE INNER MAN

People of today are more focused on strengthening the outer man.

We go to the gym to make our bodies fit and strong, we go to salons and spas to make us look younger, and we visit doctors to be healthy.

We are more concerned on the outside that we forget to strengthen our inner man.

That is why when problems come, we easily surrender. We easily give up.

In a relationship, in marriage, we easily give up and find a replacement.

Divorce and separation are just like changing clothes or gadgets.

Why because we missed the basics.

Where are the gyms for the inner man that hones our character, our faithfulness, our faith, and our love?

Increases in Value

Last Valentine’s day, there was a scarcity of flowers in spite of their price going double. The queue was more and many men were fighting their way to buy flowers for their loved ones.

I remember one time on the same Valentine’s Day, there was a man asking the Saleslady how much was a bouquet of flowers.

The Saleslady replied “100 Dhs”; and the man said, ” Oh it’s very expensive, It’s only fifty on an ordinary day. Anyway, just give me the single rose. How much is that?”

“10 Dhs Kabayan!” says the Sales lady. But the lady suggested “ Kabayan, it’s better you give a bouquet of the lovely flowers so that your girlfriend will say Yes when you propose..But the man said,” No need, she’s already my wife!”

As time flies by, we heard countless stories of marriage is broken. It is because as time passes, we neglect to value the partner that we have.

The value of our partners, our friends, or relatives should not be compared to the price of our gadget which depreciates over time.

Their worth should increase even more like an old whisky fermented for years.

IT’S ONLY HERE ON EARTH

We should give importance to this gift of having a partner because it’s only here on earth.

Have we remembered when a Sadducee asks the Lord about the resurrection? His questions were

19“Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last, of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”

Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the account of the burning bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!”                                                                                                                                                   -Matthew 18:19-27

It is therefore that marriage is only here on earth.

If you are single and want to be married, then avail this opportunity because in heaven, your spouse will not be your spouse anymore.

OPEN THE COMMUNICATION

Most of the problems encountered by so many are marriage-related problems.

A man has settled for another one. A nagger wife that makes the man avoid going home.

There was a saying that in the 1st to 2nd year of marriage, the man speaks and the wife listens. In the 3rd to 4th yr of their relationship, the wife speaks and the man listens. But in the 5th yr of their marriage, both couple speaks and the neighbor listens.

One time, the wife brings his husband to the doctor for a check-up and said, “Doc my husband has a serious problem because he speaks every time he is sleeping”.

After the consultation, the Dr called the wife privately and she asked, “is there any problem with my husband?” “There was no problem with your husband. Just allow him to speak when he is awake.”

Relationship over time dwindles because one partner controls the others.

Communication gaps started because partners are occupied with so many things in life.

And because of this, it results in quarrels and misunderstandings between the couple.

Couples quarrel but because they don’t want their children to know about it, they usually treat their partner with SILENT TREATMENT.

They share the same bed at night, they eat at the same table but they pretend to be ok.

SILENT TREATMENT

One time, couple quarrels and they treat each other a Silent treatment.

To avoid clashes, they don’t talk to each other.

But the problems come when a man needs to wake up early morning the next day but He is dependent on her wife to wake him up…

So he wrote a note saying “I have a flight to catch, wake me up at 5AM”.

The next day, the man was so angry when he noticed that it was already 9AM.

He immediately ran to his wife and angrily said:” I told you to wake me up at 5AM, now I’m late because you did not wake me up”. The woman said, “Hey, before you get angry go back to our room and read your note”. The man went back to their room, pick up the note beside the bed and read the handwriting of his wife “Hey wake up, you have a flight to catch!”

We should not let our pride ruin our relationship. We cannot just be silent and not resolve the conflict.

Because at the end of the day, the couple should resolve their conflict right away. Face the realities and decide to journey together in marriage.

You can’t continue with the silent treatment that other people think that your relationship is ok.

One time a neighbor approached the husband, you know I admire you and your wife because for a long time that we were a neighbor I never heard you arguing or fighting unlike us. What is your secret? Actually, the secret why we were silent is because we are not talking for years now.

Imagine how many wasted years in a relationship, being together but living in stress.

IT’S A JOURNEY

Being together is a journey.

There will be a fight but it’s a part of it.

We need to enjoy the journey of being together. We need to learn how to listen otherwise small conflicts become big.

When no one listens, what happens we ask for marriage councilors. What does the counselor do, counselor says “Mister what the wife says is this and that…the counselor will just repeat and clarify what the couple did not bother to listen to…And the last stage when both parties don’t agree to listen and settle, they will go to court, and the court will try to bring about all your flaws to have ground for separations.

Imagine the time, the resources, and reputation lost which can be resolved when they started to listen to each other at the start.

How much money and time was lost could be used for a Caribbean cruise and a second honeymoon.

The Grace to be Rooted and Grounded

Rooted is an agricultural term. Grounded is a structural term.

Our life is like a field wherein it should be rooted down in love.

Like a farmer who is planting good seeds, we should also plant a good seed of love.

The fruit is in the root

To be able to manifest the fruit of a lasting relationship, we need to be rooted.

You cannot expect a fruit unless there is a root.

The fruit is just a manifestation of what is in the root

You cannot expect a good fruit unless the seed is good.

Anything that springs up comes from the root that springs down.

For a relationship to last, it should be rooted and founded well that no matter how strong the wind of storms, no matter how many trials a couple faces; the couple could be able to last it all even against all odds.

May your love be always rooted and grounded,

Mikesendon

What Seeds You are Growing in your Relationship?

What Seeds You are Growing?What seeds you are growing

Many things that we have or who we are, are the product of what we did and what we continue doing till now.

Our character and our attitudes are the results of our habits developed over time.

The Principle of Harvest 

What we reap today is what we have planted years back.

What we are planting right now, is what we will harvest in the future.

Don’t expect to grow a mango by planting an avocado.

This is a universal law.

If we are planting today seeds of hatred, resentment, and un-forgiveness; then what do we expect to harvest?

If we plant hatred, we reap hatred. If we plant love, we will reap love.

 Planting seeds for Good Relationship

If we are not planting a seed of a good relationship with our family, with our kids, with our relatives, with our friends, what do we expect? A successful family relationship needs time to be invested.

Women delight that their partners and their husband remember the day of their anniversary, their birthday, and every special occasion. Hugs, Kisses, and saying “I love you” need not be reserved only on special occasions. It should be often. It should be daily.

For some, it will be corny. But believe me, doing it regularly is a seed that strengthens the bond, love, and relationship of both partners.

There is always resistance at first. Yes, we will feel awkward at the start. But the more we do it, the more we love it. It does not become a routine, but it becomes a habit.

I remember when I was courting my ex-girlfriend (now my wife); there was not a day without sending her simple text messages. “How are you?”, “Have you taken your lunch?” Take care…..

 Time Changes, we change 

One time, it was Valentine’s day; I was waiting in my queue to buy flowers for Jonna.

Before I was a man in a bargain with the Saleslady.  The man said, “how much is this bouquet of roses?” “It’s 100 dirham sir” replied the Saleslady. “It’s very expensive,” he said, “Give me the 20 dirhams only” he added. The Saleslady suggested “Kabayan, kunin nyo na yung bouquet at sigurado sasagutin kayo ng nililigawan nyo” (take the bouquet and for sure, the lady you are courting will give her “YES” to you). The man just replied “No problem, she’s already my wife.

 I admit time changes.

There were times I forgot our anniversaries.

I am not the same guy who texts her daily.

Decision to Change 

But we can still change the course if we decided to a different path and amend whatever shortcomings we have done.

When we realize that we are heading in the wrong direction and it is hurting our relationship, we have to make an immediate and absolute stop and do the right things.

Whatever good thing you planted earlier should be nurtured and allowed to continue to grow.

Whatever bad things that we planted could be replaced with a sincere and genuine action where we can show how sorry we are for the damage done in our relationship.

I decided to change. I commit to being more caring and responsible than I used to be.

I make ways to remember and celebrate our special occasions. I’m investing ample quality time with my family.

Handle with Care

A relationship is very fragile. Like glass, it is easy to throw it and let it be broken. But putting it back again to its old form will be really difficult.

A broken relationship heals but it takes time. There will always be scars left. 

The usual problem in a restored relationship is trust issues. People forgive the partners to restart anew but don’t expect that it will be a smooth transition.

It takes time before trust returns.

Relationships should be handled with care.

The seeds to grow in a relationship 

A good farmer doesn’t just plant seeds.

He carefully chooses the right kind and variety of seeds he wants to grow.

He cleans and tills the land before planting it on the ground. He waits patiently till its first leaves sprout. He watered it. He prunes it and protects it from animals and from humans.

He’s happy to see its flower grows until that flower falls and turns into fruits.

When we want to grow in relationships, like farmers we choose the right kind of seeds; our words, our actions, behaviors, attitudes, responses, and the emotions we are planting.

Farmers grow different seeds in different soil. In relationships, we adapt and adjust depending on the situation. We should know well our partners and learn to mutually adjust to living together in harmony.

We wait patiently. We don’t insist as results don’t happen over time. Especially for the new couple, there is always a period of knowing each other more.

We water it daily. We nurture our relationship with kind words, trust, understanding, love, care,, and appreciation.

We prune it. Pruning is a painful process. There were times come when we commit mistakes and do wrong. It’s hard to admit our mistakes. It’s difficult to ask forgiveness and it’s hard to forgive as well, but it’s part of the process.

The relationship is tested with trials and difficulties and it’s part of pruning.

But like plants, the more we prune the more it grows healthy.

The more it bears many fruits.

 We can make a difference today

Our relationship with others is the outcome of what we invested in them.

The little things we do today could make a great difference in the future.

Carefully choose the seeds and let them grow.

Nurture it with love daily, patiently.

It’s not yet over. We can still start anew

It’s what we will do right now that makes the difference.

May your happiness be full,

Mikesendon